/julien
Julien Chua Xin Li
December 29 1991
TK 3F'06/ 4F'07
Singapore

/give

to get EVEN more sleep
learn to play the guitar
a nice acoustic guitar
new phone:D
better earphones
baggggsssss!

/them

ali
chee yang
da jie
darence & gary
eli
fang lynn
fatman
hilma
heather
jaclyn
jannah
joan
jocelyn
julia
kheng ho
kwara
kiara
kenneth
lin
marianne
nina
pau
sis
shahidah
shaun
sharon jie
stephanie
syafiqah
vera
zu Kai
3 jie

/nightmares

March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
August 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
January 2008

/chit-chat



nosey-parkers.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

New Zealand in less than 24 hours.
Can't wait.

Wheee.

consider getting lost

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Well guess what.
I've decided to stop blogging for a little while.

This fucking Internet Explorer keeps closing on its own.
Especially when I'm blogging half-way.

Do you know how it feels?
It's a terrible feeling.

Wait till you get to experience it yourself.
You would feels like smashing the bloody computer into many pieces.

Somehow, that's what I feel like doing right now.
This freakingly screwed up shitty computer.

-------

Well so today's the last day of school.
It might be a good thing but it can be a bad thing too.

This marks the last day of Class 2C of year 2005.
And that's sad.

Well, we have been together for 2 whole years and it's been enjoyable.
Though it could have been better without some people in it but it still was a relatively good two years.

I remember when we were still in sec 1.
Innocent, ignorant, peaceful, not so fun and nerdy.

We came to school, not knowing each other and never expecting we would grow so close to one another.

We soon got to know each other a little better and had little gangs of our own.
Soon hate clubs were established and we began hating some people.

But as time passed things got a little better and some hate clubs were disbanded.
However, there is still a few more of these clubs now.

Whiny and Shithead and Giggling gang.

Yupp, these are the present ones that we DO NOT LIKE.

This year seemed to pass so quickly.
I guess it must be because we enjoyed ourselves.

As the saying goes:
Time passes quickly when you’re enjoying yourself.

We really should enjoy ourselves together as one class while we still can.
So, this time, the chalet must be a success.

But I wonder what a chalet would be like with those giggling club people all over the place.
I guess we would hear their laughter all night, and I mean ALL night.

You can not imagine how loud their laughter is unless you actually experience it yourself, which in this case I already have like a thousand times.

They can laugh at the littlest things you can ever imagine.

For example:
1. Dropping something
You will not even think of laughing when you drop something but these people, whoa.

Like recently, ok, yesterday.
I heard from Aiyan that when they were eating at Pastamania, Serene dropped something and then she and Janice burst out laughing.

Oh how I pity Aiyan for being trapped with them for 1 whole hour!
Sorry!!

2. A lame [in this case, VERY lame] joke.
Well yeah, you laugh at jokes, even though some lame but if it's not even funny??
They do.

I just don't get them.
They think that everything is funny in fact.

So everything on this earth can be added unto this list here.

And they quarrel over the smallest of matters.
Even as to where to eat.

Yupp, yesterday they had a little argument on whether they should go to KFC or Pastamania to have their dinner.

And when I say little, I really mean little.

Come on, who quarrels so peacefully.
They were practically talking to each other but they ARE quarrelling.

How funny life can be.

But I'm glad I decided to 'abandon' them to save myself from the torture of having to seem like I'm actually enjoying their company.

In actual fact, it's a very torturous job to even sit with them.
And god, they take FOREVER to get out of the classroom for recess and after school.

By the time the reach the canteen, half the recess time is gone.
That's sick.

Ok fine, I'll stop talking about them.
Just one more thing, I can't believe Julia and I would actually have to bunk in with them during the NZ trip.

Just a minute with them equals to a year of torture.
Just imagine.

-------

Well, all good things come to an end.
I suppose I can relay this phrase to our current situation.

It is a pity to have to go to separate classes.
We go together just fine.

The guys' wackiness and forever going on noise pollution plus the well known screaming club compliments the girls' somewhat quietness.[applies only for certain times]

And the famous 'Cow Song' which we sang for the presentation night during cohort camp.
It signifies our class.

One thing that marks the name '2C' is also the title of 'Champion class for lower sec in sports'.
It's our identity, our goal, our motivation.

It motivates us to win the championship titles of other games like Netball and Volleyball.
In this case our class has already got both the titles.

This upholds our championship title.

Eh whatever.
Feels like I'm writing some sort of essay on some crazy topic.

-----------

John Clare

First Love

I never was struck before that hour
With love so sudden and so sweet.
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete.

My face turned pale, a deadly pale.
My legs refused to walk away,
And when she looked what could I ail
My life and all seemed turned to clay.

And then my blood rushed to my face
And took my eyesight quite away.
The trees and bushes round the place
Seemed midnight at noonday.

I could not see a single thing,
Words from my eyes did start.
They spoke as chords do from the string,
And blood burnt round my heart.

Are flowers the winter's choice
Is love's bed always snow
She seemed to hear my silent voice
Not love appeals to know.

I never saw so sweet a face
As that I stood before.
My heart has left its dwelling place
And can return no more

--------

Just felt like putting that poem up again.
Hehe.

--------

Gravity by Embrace

Honey,
It's been a long time coming,
And I can't stop now
Such a long time running,
And I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
Can you hear that sound?
'cause I can't help thinking
And I don't look down

And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh, the way that gravity turns for you and me
And then I looked up at the sky
And saw the sun
And the way that gravity pulls on everyone
On everyone

Baby,
It's been a long time waiting,
Such a long, long time
And I can't stop smiling,
No I can't stop now
Do you hear my heart beating?
And can you hear that sound?
'cause I can't help crying
And I won't look down

And then I looked up at the sun
And I could see
Oh, the way that gravity turns on you and me
And then I looked up at the sun
And saw the sky
And the way that gravity pulls on you and I
On you and I

Can you hear my heart beating?
Do you hear that sound?
'cause I cant help crying
And I won't look down

------

This song is very nice.
You really should listen to it.

I'll upload it so just click on the button.
If it doesn't work, then too bad.
You got it at the wrong time.

:]

Soo, I guess I'll just stop here for the time being.
Continue another time.

Toooo tired to go on writing and blabbering.

Hehe.
Wanna go to sleep now!!

consider getting lost

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I wonder why I haven't updated for such a long time.
Lazy I guess.

Sigh.

consider getting lost

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Well, haven't updated in a while.

Too lazy I suppose.
Sigh.

Got the option form for the streaming classes.
Wondering ifI would be able to make it to the classs I want to go to.

My percentage is only like 61.1
Where can I go with that marks.

Definitely not a double science class.
But I hope that well something will help me.

Sighh.
I want to go to option 2.

Seems the best to me.
There's Geog and Lit.

Just what I wanted
:]

Problem is I'm not sure if I can make it in.
Drats.

Hah.

I'll just see first.

consider getting lost

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Heh.
In school right now.

IT period right now.

Super boring.

Results sucked, boo.
Whatever, get to pass can already.

hmm.

consider getting lost

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Well, no exams, glad for that.

Bored though.
No idea what to do.

Well, weekend was practically boring.

Bored bored bored bored.

Oh yeah.
New Zealand trip.

Coming up soon.

Still thinking about what I should bring.
It's like 12 degrees to 23 degrees.

Like Singapore on a rainy day at most.
Cold enough??

Hehe.
Can't wait, but then we will not be staying at a nice grand hotel but some camp an hostel kindda place.

We still gotta share toliets.

Darn, that's the thing I was hoping we would not have to do.
I hate sharing toilets.

Well, no mood to write.
Tata.

consider getting lost

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Finally free from exams for this year!!

Today was the last paper we had to do!!
Geography!!!!

It was preety ok~

Yes, we celebrated Aiyan's birthday today!

It was a very fun day.
AWESOME!

Yeapp.

We had a lot of well, surprises and stupid scenerios[by Evonne!]
Evonne went crazy!!!

She was uncontrollable, going around cracking some weird jokes and laughing at all sorts of not funny stuff.

A little touchy too~

Know what?

I have no mood to update, maybe another time.

Maybe, Must Be.
Aw sweet, reminds me of the show.

Lovely show.

Oh yeah, by the way.

Corpse Bride was a good show, go catch it if you can.
Are you reading this Paula??

Haha.

consider getting lost

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

English Part 1
English Part 2
MT Part 1
MT Part 2
Mt Part 3
Math Paper 1
Math Paper 2
Science
Literature
History
Geography!!!

Finally the last paper has come.
This marks the end of the Final Term Exams.

Can't wait.
Honest.

So tomorrow's gonna be a day of enjoyment.
Celebration!!!

Hehe.
Aiyan's belated birthday outing.

Don't worry we've got something planned just for her
:]

Haha.
The things we do for her..

Hope she appreciates it.
Julia and I walked for hours and though long and hard for it!!

Nope, no hints.

-------

OHHH!

Thanks Rico for lending me the Geography textbook!
See that's a good soul.

-------

Hmm.
Studying for Geography.

But nothing's going in.
What's the use??

-------

Blue and Yellow by The Used

And it's all in how you mix the two
And it starts just where the light exists
It's a feeling that you cannot miss
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it

Well you're never gonna find it
If you're looking for it
Won't come your way yeah
Well you'll never find it
If you're looking for it (looking for it)

Should've done something
But I've done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

And you never would have thought it in the end
How amazing it feels just to live again
It's a feeling that you cannot miss
It burns a hole through everyone that feels it

Well you're never gonna find it
If you're looking for it
Won't come your way yeah
Well you'll never find it
If you're looking for it (looking for it)

Should've done something
But I've done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

Should've said something
But I've said it enough
By the way my words were faded
Rather waste some time with you

(Time with you...Time with you...
Time with you...Waste some time
with you...Waste some time with you)

Should've done something
But I've done it enough
By the way your hands were shaking
Rather waste my time with you

Should've said something
But I've said it enough
By the way my words were faded
Rather waste my time with you

Should've done something
But I've done it enough
By the way my hands were shaking
Rather waste some time with you

(Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste some time with you...
Waste sometime with you...
Waste some time with you...
By the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you)

----------

Sighh.

---------

Promise by Matchbook Romance

What would you say if I asked you not to go
Would your forget everyone, forget everyhting
And start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Well promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like good bye
And these memories can't replace
These wishes I wish and dreams I chase
Well take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone
Left remebering what it's like
To have you here with me
I thought you should know
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please dont, well please dont leave me

I feel like I've lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what its like
To have you here with me
I thought you should know, you're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

Take my hand and never let me go
Take my hand and never let me go
Promise me, you'll never let go
Never let go, never let go
You'll never let go

Make this last forever

I feel like I've lost everything when your gone
Left remembering what it's like
To have you here with me
I thought you should know
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight
Cause that brings me closer to you

---------

Sighh againn.

Doing some stuff.
Give you a hint.

John Clare

FirstLove

I never was struck before that hour
With love so sudden and so sweet.
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete.

My face turned pale, a deadly pale.
My legs refused to walk away,
And when she looked what could I ail
My life and all seemed turned to clay.

And then my blood rushed to my face
And took my eyesight quite away.
The trees and bushes round the place
Seemed midnight at noonday.

I could not see a single thing,
Words from my eyes did start.
They spoke as chords do from the string,
And blood burnt round my heart.

Are flowers the winter's choice
Is love's bed always snow
She seemed to hear my silent voice
Not love appeals to know.

I never saw so sweet a face
As that I stood before.
My heart has left its dwelling place
And can return no more.

-------

Found this poem while helping someone out.
Heh.

consider getting lost

Monday, October 10, 2005

Well well well.
Looks like the streaming exams are going to be over preety soon.

Just two more freaking days to freedom.
I just can't wait!!!

But somhow I just have that bad feeling that I would not do well.
I'm afraid that I would go to some class with whiny in it.

Boy that's like that the worst thing that can happen to me in TK.
I wonder..

I wanna take Geography AND Literature.
Wonder if there's such a class in the first place.

If I gotta choose one, then hmm.
I can't decide.

But I'm afraid that my history will not do well because in sec 3 you will be taking Social Studies and with the history, you're bound to get confused about what's happeneing.

But I like both Geography and Literature.
It's really hard to decide between them.

ARRGGHH!!

It's driving me mad.

------

Still gotta think about what present I've gotta buy for Aiyan's birthday, well maybe be-lated birthday.

We promised to go out right after the exams!
Maybe that's the thing that've actually been waiting for.

OHHHH!
I can't wait.

We might be going to watch Corpse bride!
Hehe.
That is if Aiyan wants to do so.

Heh.

Wonder what she would want..
Maybe I should try and get a few hints from her but try not to make it too obvious.
Hehe.

Right.
Hope she's not reading this.

Well, now I gotta study for my chinese paper 2 tomorrow.
Must not let our beloved teacher down.

GUO LAO SHI!!!!
WO BU HUI RANG NI SHI WANG DE!

For those who do not understand what it means:

MISS GUO!!!!
I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!

Yeah.

GOsh, mosquito bites all over again.
Hope none of them are ades mosquitoes.

Gonna wack them flat if they try and suck my blood.
HEHEHE.

---------

I still got tonnes to study and I don't have my geog textbook.
Great, that idiot that stole my books is such an irritant.

Now I can't even study in peace.
NO textbook, no workbook.

All I have is my notes and no clue what are the chapters being tested on.
Sighh.

Anyone care to lend me their book tomorrow so I can see what chapters there are that I have to study??
Guess not.

Fucked up luck.
Bull-shit.

This sucks.

Lalalala.
At least there's still the New Zealand trip.

But the bad thing about it is that there's still a project after that.
Sickening.

There's no good thing on earth eh?
When a thing is good, there's bound to be somethihng bad about it too.

Sighh.
Wonder if the December holidays would be long enough.

There's still some 'Bridging course' for all the Sec 2s to help them in their Sec 3 math.
Well, I'll be missing one week first then I got to go back during the holidays[after everyone else] for some replacement lessons.

Damm, another week gone from my holidays.
Shit the School.

Lousy system and worser teachers.
Worst Principal.

P Chan.
Hah.

Ohoh!
Mrs Tan thinks of us as her friends!

Yeah yeah!
Today before morning assembly, she was telling Aiyan not to tuk out her shirt until it's all out.

But while telling Aiyan she was smiling and hopping away!
She always seems happy whenever she talks to us!

Haha, must be the project that pulled her to us!
We kept asking her questions and joking with her.

However she and Mr Choo are still together.
We saw them together again just now.

Hehe.

Sneaky peaky.

consider getting lost

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Oh yeah, one more thing.

Happy Birthday Jillene.

I'm don't really care if you read this but, who cares.
Hah.

Sorry, I'm afraid there's no present for you because I'm utterly broke and even if I'm not broke, I don't think I would buy one for you.

Have your nice birthday and whatever cake you're going to blow.

HEH.HEH!!

-----

Gosh, if only I would say this to her.
It's gonna end the good 'friendship' we shared for like I dunno, half a year.

Yeah that was the only time we were ever close friends.
After that, it was different.

But who cares , I've got you and you and you and you and lots more of 'yous' there for me!
Hehe.

I don't need you anymore.
I've got better things to do.

Tatta.
:]

consider getting lost

Hmm.

Weekends, love it somehow.
No exams, no studying, late nights, later mornings.

I wonder if we'll get the papers back for the exam..
It might be a good thing not to get it back, I suppose.

Then I wouldn't have to see what dumb answers I gave for the questions.
Heh.

I'm screwed for the streaming.
Starting to wonder whether I even will make it to the double science classes.

What if I really have to go to the K class?
That's almost the end of the world for me.



Haha, that's my class, without some people.

Whiny's not in it.

-----

Well, Literatuere's on monday!

Study study study!!!


consider getting lost

Friday, October 07, 2005

Giving Up by Silverstein.

I used to make the light shine for you
The sun has left my sky
Velvet walls surround my sorrows
I've sacrificed my pride

Giving up on me
You're giving up on me
Giving up on me
You're giving up on me

I've laid myself to sleep tonight
I know you've played out everything in your mind

And now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay
Through thick and thin with me
You're giving up on me

Giving up on me
You're giving up on me
Giving up on me
You're giving up on me

I lied myself to sleep tonight
I know, you've played out every line in your mind

And now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay
Through thick and thin with me

And when you feel the pain
I'm wishing I could stay
How can I say I love you back
You never made me happy

You've laid yourself to sleep
I never said this wouldn't hurt
You gave up everything
I never said I'd give it back

I know (I know)
You'll never change
I won't be good enough for you
I know (I know)
You'll make it through
I'll never be around to see

And now you throw it all away
A shattered memory that you would stay
Through thick and thin with me

You're giving up on me
You're giving up on me
You're giving up on me
You're giving up on me

------------

consider getting lost

Hmm.

Math paper today.

Freaking Dm.
Wanna stab her to death.

She set the paper 1 so difficult.
It was IMPOSSIBLE to have finished it.

I missed out like 20 marks worth already.
What more can I get.

Sighh.
Bad bad bad bad bad.

Well, so after the math paper, we were waiting for Ivan in the canteen.

He said that his paper ends at 11 so we waited, it was only half and hour away.
We sat there waiting, we didn't eat because we were suppose to have lunch with him..

So yeah.

11 came and passed.
Soon it was 11.45 and he still wasn't out.

We were frustrated and very hungry.
And that stupid Valarie Tan just had to come and point out all the different parts pf our Uniform and nag and nag at us.

Sucker.

Well, so when he finally came out[ which was almost 12] he looked at us like we were up to something.

'Are you sure you waited for me?'
'Really ar?'

He just couldn't accept the fact that we would wait for him.
Crazy man.

So we went off to Town and ate lunch[of course, we were starving]
Went to some place that sells cheap but good food, as Ivan reccomended.

It was at the top level of Cineleisure.
Yeah.

Ate for like almost 1 hours.
Had a lot of fun.

A lot of stupid jokes and guess what.
Crazy Ivan can't count for nutts.

HE said, "7 times 5 is 31 dollars"

We were like, EH?

So I took the receipt from him and found out that it was suppose to be like 6 per person.
He cheated us money.

By that time we already gave him our money for the food.

SO we threatened him to pay s back if not we hand Pig's head outside his door.
We wrote a contract with his IC no and Kingston's IC no as his 'dan bao ren' which is something like the person that guarantees he will pay up.

We made him sign it.
Hehe.

If he refused to give the money, we would hang Pig's head not only at his house, but also at the place he sits at for the exam.

MUHAHA.

HAd a lot of laughs.

Fun.

Now I gotta study.

consider getting lost

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Whoo.
Today is Aiyan's birthday, unfortunately, it's a exam day.

And since it's an exam day, they didnt want to go out as well the next day was a math paper.
Shit math paper.

So we have decided to go out only after the exams, on the 12th which is the last exam day.
School ends at 9 something on that day.

Wheet~

Now gotta get a present for her..
Hmm.

Difficult decision.

---------

Well, History today was so-so.
I found it quite okay, except for a few very difficult questions.

I remembered more than I expected I would.
I guess it's beacuse I read through the powerpoint slide like 3 times over and over again.

Got sick of doing that.

English was normal I guess.
I can't tell the difference.

Then there was Chinese Listening.
Hmm, 10 questions, 30 minutes.

Waste of time.

Well, there' still math which is tomorrow, and Literaure and MT which is on Monday and Mt paper 2 on Tuesday then finally Geography which marks the last day of exam.

YESS!

I can't wait for that day to come.
The we can go celebrate Aiyan's birthday and watch 'Corpse Bride' and the other movies we wanted to watch.

Counting down..

consider getting lost

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Heh.

Science was well, okay I guess.
But somehow I have the feeling that I wouldnt do well.

I dunno, I didn't do the question on digestion.
The one about the protein and how it is digested.

I suddenly completely forgot how everything goes.
Sighh.

That question was a good 4 marks.
Now it's gone, all gone, just like that.

It could have made a difference between by 65 to 70.
What am I to do..

Tomorrow's History but I'm still here bolgging when I should be studying, seriously.
History is like one of the hardest topics in which you have to remember A LOT of things.

So far I've only ended at the Indonesia Confrontation.
And that's the only chapter that I learnt.

I'm so dead.
God wish me the best and give me the wisdom if you can.

I guess I really need it now.
Hmm.

Do you want to by Franz Ferdinand.

Oh well I woke up tonight and said I
I'm gonna make somebody love me
I'm gonna make somebody love me
And now I know, now I know, now I know
I know that it's you
You're lucky, lucky
You're so lucky!

Oh well do you, do you do you want to?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go
Where I've never let you before?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go
Where I've never let you before?

Well he's a friend and he's so proud of you
He's a friend and I knew him before you, oh yeah
Well he's a friend and he's so proud of you
You're famous friend well I blew him before you, oh yeah

Oh well do you, do you do you want to?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go
Where I've never let you before?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go
Where I've never let you before?

Well here we are at the transmission party
I love your friends they're all so arty, oh yeah

Oh well I woke up tonight and said I
I'm gonna make somebody love me
I'm gonna make somebody love me
And now I know, now I know, now I know
I know that it's you
You're lucky, lucky
You're so lucky!

Oh well do you, do you do you want to?
Oh well do you, do you do you want to, want to go
Where I've never let you before?

Oh lucky lucky
You're so lucky
Lucky lucky
You're so lucky
Lucky lucky
You're so lucky
Lucky lucky
You're so lucky
Lucky lucky
You're so lucky
Oh lucky lucky
You're so lucky
Yeah!

-----

Heh, Ali sent me this song.
Got a few more of the same band.

Go check it out.
Not that bad.

-----

Fold by Stars Hide Fire.

The emptiness of your voice still echos clear,
You warned me once again,
I refused to listen,
Decided for myself that this was everything I felt.

As I sit here distorting my reality,
I search hours for answers,
Because I can't remember what it felt like before you
Without you I fold.

This is all I have to give,
This is what I'm living with,
The hate, the games, the lies, the pain,
The never knowing why,
On lonely nights I still fall asleep,
Without you, without you I Fold.

The emptiness of your voice still echos clear...

Because I can't remember what it felt like before you, Without you I fold...

This is all I have to give,
This is what I'm living with
The hate, the games, the lies, the pain,
The never knowing why,
On lonely nights I still fall asleep (fall asleep),
Without you, without you
I fold, I fold, I fold, I fold, I fold.

At a loss for words I fold this hand,
Next deal's to you.

And this emptiness overtakes the silence in this room,
I fold this hand,
I'm trying to deny what I feel inside for you.

The hate, the games, the lies, the pain,
The hate, the games, the lies, the pain,
The hate, the games, the lies, the pain,
The hate, the games, the lies, the pain.

-------

Pau sent me this song.
Not bad too.

Hmm.

consider getting lost

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Sighh.

The exams start tomorrow.
Can you feel the pressure?

Well, I can.

I'm afraid that if I don't do well, I might get seperated from all my friends.
But on the other hand, I'm also afraid that I might end up in some class with lots of people I hate.

Damm.

Well, Let's just pray hard that I will do well and get to be in the same class as my friends.
Sighh.

consider getting lost

Monday, October 03, 2005

Heh.

Was supppose to have a 'competition' with Paula for the longest post, but somehow I forgot.

Haha, maybe after the exams.

consider getting lost

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Haha.

I just found it funny.
We were suppose to meet to go to Chee Yang's house to study in the morning.

I woke up at 7 plus, Rico too.

So I waited and waited with Rico[not together but as in wait for the rest to give us the time and stuff] and so while waiting, I fell asleep again.

Then next thing I know, it's 11 and everyone else just woke up.

Haha.

Guess we all overslept by 2 hours!
Heh.

So in the end we didn't go and I'm right here at home slacking.

Here's what kind of person I'm supposed to be.

Enneagram Type 6 - The Loyalist

Conflicted between trust and distrust

People of this personality type essentially feel insecure, as though there is nothing quite steady enough to hold onto. At the core of the type Six personality is a kind of fear or anxiety. This anxiety has a very deep source and can manifest in a variety of different styles, making Sixes somewhat difficult to describe and to type. What all Sixes have in common however, is the fear rooted at the center of their personality, which manifests in worrying, and restless imaginings of everything that might go wrong. This tendency makes Sixes gifted at trouble shooting, but also robs the Six of much needed peace of mind and tends to deprive the personality of spontaneity. The essential anxiety at the core of the type Six fixation tends to permeate the personality with a sort of "defensive suspiciousness." Sixes don't trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven herself, at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty. The loyalty of the Six is something of a two edged sword however, as Sixes are sometimes prone to stand by a friend, partner, job or cause even long after it is time to move on.

Sixes are generally looking for something or someone to believe in. This, combined with their general suspiciousness, gives rise to a complicated relationship to authority. The side of the Six which is looking for something to believe in, is often very susceptible to the temptation to turn authority over to an external source, whether it be in the form of an individual or a creed. But the Six's tendency towards distrust and suspicion works against any sort of faith in authority. Thus, two opposite pulls exist side by side in the personality of enneatype Six, and assume different proportions in different individuals, sometimes alternating within the same individual.
The truly confounding element when it comes to typing Sixes is that there are two fundamentally different strategies that Sixes adopt for dealing with fear. Some Sixes are basically phobic. Phobic Sixes are generally compliant, affiliative and cooperative. Other Sixes adopt the opposite strategy of dealing with fear, and become counterphobic, essentially taking a defiant stand against whatever they find threatening. This is the Six who takes on authority or who adopts a dare devil attitude towards physical danger. Counterphobic Sixes can be agressive and, rather than looking for authorities, can adopt a rebellious or anti-authoritarian demeanor. Counterphobic Sixes are often unaware of the fear that motivates their actions. In fact, Sixes in general, tend to be blind to the extent of their own anxiety. Because it is the constant back drop to all of their emotions, Sixes are frequently unaware of its existence, as they have nothing with which to contrast it.

Because Sixes so frequently fail to appreciate the extent of their own fear, they often mistype themselves. It is common for instance, for female Sixes to mistype as Twos, especially if they are identified with a helper role, but Sixes have a much more ambivalent attitude towards relationships than do Twos, who generally know exactly what they want. Sixes, failing to recognize their anxiety, can mistype as Nines, but Nines have the ability to relax and to trust in others, neither of which come easily to Sixes. Sixes can mistype as Fours, especially if they have artistic inclinations, but they lack the Four's self-absorption. They can mistype as Fives, especially if they are intellectual, as many Sixes are, but unlike Fives, Sixes tend to be practical. Finally, conterphobic Sixes can easily mistype as Eights, but they lack the Eight's self-certainty.

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So that's what I'm supposed to be.
Right.

consider getting lost